The judge assigned a GAL. We were very worried about this as he/she will be a complete stranger to us and the case. She won't decide the case, however she will give the judge a recommendation on where she thinks the girls should be. So really honestly she could make or break us. She will be visiting the contesting family as well. We had our first phone interview and I felt so confident after our conversation! She is a gray-haired Grandma (thankful she is not some new-age person!) and she is so nice. She told me that she is here to represent the best interest of the children. Her job is to make a decision she believes the children would make if they could. She will come for a visit on Saturday, November 16. She wants to interact with us as an immediate family for several hours in the morning and then she requested that we have lunch together with our local, extended family. I love my family and all the many children are so sweet and I just can't help but be confident that she will be favorably impressed (please do not take this that I am bragging). We are just a normal, stable, intact, Christian family who loves each other and loves our children. And that is getting rare in the world today. Needless to say my whole life is revolving around November 16! I am dreaming about what dress I will wear, what clothes the children will wear, how I will comb the girls' hair, if I will serve muffins, or maybe I will serve coffee, but what about hot tea??? etc... etc...!!! Please remember to pray for us that day. Pray that we will be calm and the children happy and healthy. Pray especially that Addie is "herself", her wonderful "self".
Another interesting piece of info: Our agency/lawyer received a letter from a pastor of a church in the town where paternal family resides. I do not know much about what the letter said, but our lawyer said it was "gold" for our case. In a nutshell the letter stated that the children would not be safe with the paternal family. The letter was unsolicited and completely voluntary on the part of the pastor. So yes, we are on an UP on the adoption roller coaster! Thanking God!
Still having some tumultuous times with Addie. Sometimes it is much better only to dip again into baffling tears. Tears and tears and tears. Tears with no explanation. At times it feels like walking on thin ice, never knowing when she is going to crack. It has been good for us to have to weigh every word or action on the gentleness scale. Yet it is important that she is "one of the bunch" and not treated "differently" or "more specially" than the others. It seems we keep getting more insight into her "triggers", but many times it is so random. It helps if I keep things as calm as possible, hold her a lot, NEVER hurry, ALWAYS be patient, be positive, positive, positive, set boundaries yet be lenient, etc..etc... Sometimes I look ahead to future days when we have the foundation of security with her that we have with the other children, days when she is not shaken by the slightest tremor and it feels like a far off dream. Someone made mention that every family has a barometer. She is our barometer, measuring the slightest stress or storm. Then I remember wishing in the early months that she would show her feelings. That she would have temper tantrums or meltdowns. She was SO easy. We thought maybe she was just extremely easy going and unaffected, but my gut told me it was not healthy for her to have been through the trauma of unfathomable loss and never show any feelings or emotion. So yes, now every emotion and feeling are worn on her sleeve. She obviously is able to trust us with her feelings now, which is a huge positive step. Hopefully someday we will find the middle of the road....
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