I Will Never Regret

   We are called to be a part of this redemptive plan. We are called to try to mend the broken pieces. We are called to give wholly and completely with no guarantee. This calling, this desire, must be equally felt by both husband and wife. It need not be a big feeling, but I and my husband must be united completely. No nagging. No manipulating for my desires. The baby drive in some women is a strong one. My husband says, "Yes, let's adopt" and I must know I have not coerced in any way no matter how badly I want a child.

   Next when the time comes to actually bring a child or children into your it must be the same. Every situation that comes along my gut feeling is that it is my baby, my child. My gut feelings are not trust worthy when it comes to babies! How my mother heart, my woman heart, longs for that baby or child, yet I must be silent. I must quietly wait for the direction of my husband. We, together, must know this is God's will. It is foundational. 

   When our adoptions are established on this united foundation, I need never count the cost. His grace is sufficient. I believe that. I must believe that.

   No matter what the future holds, no matter what my child may do to me, no matter what roads my child chooses to go down, no matter what baggage my child carries from early trauma, no-matter-what-I-will-never-regret.

   Does Jesus count the cost when He adopts us? Does He regret the sacrifice? He loves and loves. He gives and gives and gives. No matter what we do to Him, He never counts the cost. He never regrets. Yes, maybe He grieves, but He never regrets.

   Maybe I'm too idealistic, I don't know. I know there are traumatized children who have ruined the happiness of the home. I am so sorry. I'm sure you don't regret, but how you must grieve. Broken dreams, broken hearts, ruined lives: That's what our Savior came for. May God carry you.

 (Thoughts from a mom of an autistic child)

"This experience we did not choose, which we would have given anything to avoid, has made us different, has made us better. Through it we have learned the lessons that no one studies willingly, the hard, slow lessons of Sophocles and Shakespeare - that one grows by suffering. And that too is Jessy's gift. I write now what fifteen years past I would still not have thought possible to write: that if today I were given the choice, to accept the experience, with everything that it entails, or to refuse the bitter largesse, I would have to stretch out my hands - because out of it has come, for all of us, an unimagined life. And I will not change the last word of the story. It is still love."
Clara Park - The Siege