Taking the turns..

"The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you refuse to take the turn."
      I'm feeling the need to write and it's been a while. Still waiting to hear from Colombia, but while we wait different happenings have happened.
    Long story short...While looking at waiting child listings on Rainbow Kids, I came across this beautiful 1 yr old lil girl from Congo. I fell in love. I tried not too, but I did. After a couple days we decided to inquire about her. She had been posted for 1 week and they had had around 500 inquiries about her. Well, ok. But... only 4 families who inquired had international home studies. We did. As hard as I tried to think realistically, my hopes were sky high. M was more reserved about an African, but he knew as well as I that if this happened it would only be a miracle of the Lord. The agency was going to choose a family for her out of the 4 applicants (we were one of them) the next week. Sleepless nights ensued. As hard as I tried NOT to think it, I knew she was ours. I had fallen hard and I knew it, but honestly did not know what to do about it. I prayed and prayed that God would take it away if it was not to be, but it stayed. We waited 10 days and they were long days. Then her agency emailed and said they had chosen another family for her. I cried. Went outside to do the chores in the dark. Couldn't see the dogfood for the blur. It didn't go away the next day either or the next. Finally, I pled desperately "GOD, TAKE THIS AWAY". Then he did, but it still hurts when I think about it. Why? I have no idea. For what purpose? I don't know.  This was a month ago.
  Needless to say, we are feeling a bit in limbo right now, wondering where our family is. It is hard on me. I like to have a plan. We are thinking of maybe pursuing another domestic and hopefully Colombia would be ok with that. We really do not want to give up on Colombia. We've put a lot into it and tho we think of all other options, our hearts are nestled in Latin America. Anyways... you can pray that we have direction. We are very open minded at this point. If God opens the doors, we will walk through.
  We did make another inquiry about a 2 yr old special needs girl from Colombia, so we'll see what becomes of that. Haven't heard back yet. I'm feeling very reserved about getting hopes too high again.
  Now friends... let me tell you the saddest story you'll ever read. My little "Why's?" are nothing compared to this. There is a dear couple from Kansas, I've only met her briefly one time, but they got a little foster baby when he was 10 days old. His dad was in jail and his mom on drugs and incapable of taking care of him. They fully believed they would be able to adopt him, because his birth parents rights were very small. As they pursued adoption (this little boys paperwork kept falling through the cracks at the courthouse), his dad got out of jail and decided he wanted him. Why? We don't know. To put it in a nutshell, in August mama had to pry her little 4 yr. old off of her neck and give him to his birth dad. I am crying once again. Please pray for them. Dear mother as she weeps says death would be easier. Yes, it would. Heaven vs. a stranger with a bad past. No doubt. My heart breaks for the ache in that little boys heart and the hole in Mommy and Daddy's heart. Why? Why does God allow such to happen? Why was Connor torn from his loving Christian home? The only one he had ever known. Why? Why? Why? Tho shaken, somehow I cling to a Faith in an all knowing, loving God.  Once again, pray for them and pray hard.